Law-defying Jokester Gifts

'No emergency, Officer. The top number on my speedometer is 150 mph and I wanted to try it.'

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'They said 'write what you know.' So I didn't write anything.'

Justice

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

'...In an attempt to speed up our backlog of cases we've computerized the scales of justice.'

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

I hate these he shed, she shed cases.

"No, go ahead. I enjoy good gossipy hearsay."

'I warned you counselor, no more tricks.'

"I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

'Branding is essential if you're to survive in the Jungle of modern law...'

'What could I have done? The defence's motion was written on legal tender.'

Bartender: 'Rough day, huh?'Man: 'I'll say. My ex-wife just sued the pants off me.'

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

'There's no catch, Mr. Jones. We offer 100% bonefide, free, crummy legal advice.'

'I believe it's 'feed a fever and starve a lawyer.''

"You want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" (Colour)

'Any chance of making this a 'catch and release', officer?'

"Sentencing...my gut feeling is disembowelment...but my head says decapitation."

'They come down here to smoke.'

'And that one painted and forgot to close the curtains.'

"My attorney feels it's unwise for me to continue to represent you."

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

'I'm only doing pro-bono cases until I can find some well-paying anti-bono cases.'

Pantomimes Are Lousy Painters. . .

'My name is Judge Clyde Sandorf; better known as 'ol' tough as nails'.'

"I know that you've always enoyed your work."

"After all, it is a frivolous lawsuit..."

HEY!

"Just practice half-court shots - all other shots have lost their meaning."

'I'm leaning towards not leaning towards anything.'

'I'm afraid my gag order also applies to thought balloons, counselor.'

Antisocial Behaviour