Law And Laughter Enthusiasts Gifts

'Well, if you DNA made you do it, I'm sentencing your DNA to thirty years in prison.'

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

A baby in court

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

'Overruled, you may continue.'

'Judge Mental.'

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

'Could you recommend a fruit that works for lawyers?'

All together now! Let's sing our decision!

"I can assure you, Your Honor, that my client knocked over the liquor store with the best of intentions."

Policeman

'The prisons are overcrowded, so why don't you just drop and give me fifty push-ups?'

'No kidding? You don't wear anything underneath either?'

"Having a real pitbull for an attorney was great...at first."

It is illegal to fall asleep under a hairdryer in Florida.

'Let's be fair about this, Your Honor -- how can the plaintiff be an objective witness if my client shot him?'

The Jury Decides.

'Overruled. Now answer the question. We could all use a good laugh.'

Where legal teams but their outfits.

'I wonder what that knocking noise is.'

"Does this mean that you're ready to cop a plea?"

"And this is the juvenile court."

"Hockersmith & Associates. May we help you?"

"If she sings it's over."

'Your Honor, I have nothing to hide.'

'Before your honor passes sentence, is the anything my client could do for extra credit, if you know what I mean?'

"Are you aware under the new terrorism laws I can hold you without charge for up to 90 days?"

'And in order to make the experience of court less intimidating...'

"So, David. Do you have a permit for that weapon?"

"Let's start the polygraph test with an easy question — Are you a good boy?"