Legal Laughter Enthusiast Gifts

You ought to be in the funny papers, counselor. That was yet another hilarious objection. Overruled, of course.

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Barristers

"Bailiff."

"We make crime pay."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

A baby in court

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

"At least he's honest about it..."

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

Judge about dancing lawyer: 'When you get to the second stanza of this song and dance, please approach the bench.'

Viking in the dock: His barrister says: 'Your honour, my client was simply expanding his business interests. We object to the use of the word 'pillaging'.'

'Judge Mental.'

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"

"Wait a minute! This is a copy of 'TV Guide.' "

'Come to order' 'I'll have a burger, hold the mayo, and a large cola.'

"Well the good news is that we came top in at least one category of the latest diversity tables..."

Frank abuses the Power of Attorney.

Mega Pharmaceuticals Legal Dept. What if we claim a generic knockoff of our miracle drug is blasphemous?