Legal Laughing Aficionado Gifts

'Overruled. Now answer the question. We could all use a good laugh.'

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Barristers

"Bailiff."

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"We make crime pay."

"Not guilty by reason of genetic determinism, Your Honor."

A baby in court

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

"The witness will confine his 'Knock knock' answers to 'Who's there?'"

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

"At least he's honest about it..."

'I gotta admit - this 'jury by my peers' idea of yours is looking pretty good.'

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, dummy!'

'Nonsense, Harry, it's my treat. I'm filing for bankruptcy tomorrow.'

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.

Judge about dancing lawyer: 'When you get to the second stanza of this song and dance, please approach the bench.'

Viking in the dock: His barrister says: 'Your honour, my client was simply expanding his business interests. We object to the use of the word 'pillaging'.'

'Overruled, you may continue.'

"Objections overruled...I also think the defendent looks extremly dodgy"