Law And Laughter Enthusiast Gifts

A baby in court

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

Corporate Lawyers

"Whereupon the defendant let out a very sharp, hard-edged laugh that fell to the floor and painfully injured the plaintiff's right foot!"

Policeman

All together now! Let's sing our decision!

"I can assure you, Your Honor, that my client knocked over the liquor store with the best of intentions."

It is illegal to fall asleep under a hairdryer in Florida.

'When I pled 'Not Guilty,' I forgot to say 'May I?''

'Objection! That could be anybody's footprint!'

'A limited partnership? It means you can't sue or skim.'

'Overruled. Now answer the question. We could all use a good laugh.'

'I wonder what that knocking noise is.'

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

"It's your attorney."

'Well, if you DNA made you do it, I'm sentencing your DNA to thirty years in prison.'

"You declared him to be a hostile witness, your honor."

'Before your honor passes sentence, is the anything my client could do for extra credit, if you know what I mean?'

'And in order to make the experience of court less intimidating...'

"Are you aware under the new terrorism laws I can hold you without charge for up to 90 days?"

"Case dismissed for obvious reasons."

If injury lawyers said what they really mean.

'What about all the crimes I am innocent of?'

The day begins at the copyright office - "Morning Jeff(TM)"...

'Keyhole Perjury'

A-sexual activity will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

Law Firm of Kellog and Keith: Never An Ambulance Chaser.