Law And Laughter Lover Gifts

'I wonder what that knocking noise is.'

"This man will be kept in police custard."

"...and I said, 'as a matter of fact, I DO have a bowling ball in my bag'."

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

A baby in court

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

Policeman

We Remove Lawyer Residue

All together now! Let's sing our decision!

'Do you mean LAWYER?'

"I can assure you, Your Honor, that my client knocked over the liquor store with the best of intentions."

Magistrate's clerk swearing witness

'I'd like to have my name legally changed to 'Dot Com.''

It is illegal to fall asleep under a hairdryer in Florida.

'Objection! That could be anybody's footprint!'

Man looking at the cartes de visite of the lawyers in chancery lane

'Unzip your pants. . .while you're here, I want to pay up my bill in full.'

'Well, if you DNA made you do it, I'm sentencing your DNA to thirty years in prison.'

'Sorry, Mr. Weinbaum, but you should have said 'Simon says not guilty.''

"Your lawyer is a zombie?"

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

"You have the right to remain inanimate, but anything you do mime may be used against you in a court of law"

"Case dismissed for obvious reasons."

"Why, yes, Your Honor. That would make me his Advocate."

"We'd better tell Santa! We're being sued by Billy Gerent: He claims us putting on the Naughty List is discriminatory..."

'Trust me. With this prosecuting attorney, we do NOT want you taking the witness stand in your own defense!'

"Are you aware under the new terrorism laws I can hold you without charge for up to 90 days?"

'The bailiffs took my car away yesterday, and I didn't even have a chance to siphon out the petrol.'