Law And Laughter Lover Gifts

'I wonder what that knocking noise is.'

"This man will be kept in police custard."

"...and I said, 'as a matter of fact, I DO have a bowling ball in my bag'."

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

A baby in court

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

Judge chasing fly with gavel.

"I can assure you, Your Honor, that my client knocked over the liquor store with the best of intentions."

Policeman

We Remove Lawyer Residue

'Do you mean LAWYER?'

All together now! Let's sing our decision!

Courtroom. Next time I wouldn't say "Convincingly, I hope" when the judge asks how you plead.

Magistrate's clerk swearing witness

'I'd like to have my name legally changed to 'Dot Com.''

'Objection! That could be anybody's footprint!'

It is illegal to fall asleep under a hairdryer in Florida.

Man looking at the cartes de visite of the lawyers in chancery lane

'Sorry, Mr. Weinbaum, but you should have said 'Simon says not guilty.''

'Well, if you DNA made you do it, I'm sentencing your DNA to thirty years in prison.'

"I can assure you, Your Honor, my client isn't a flight risk."

"'Waaaaah, waaaaah!' is not an answer!"

"Your lawyer is a zombie?"

'Unzip your pants. . .while you're here, I want to pay up my bill in full.'

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

"We'd better tell Santa! We're being sued by Billy Gerent: He claims us putting on the Naughty List is discriminatory..."

"Why, yes, Your Honor. That would make me his Advocate."

"I'm your Fairy God lawyer and will grant you three Gloria Allreds."

"You have the right to remain inanimate, but anything you do mime may be used against you in a court of law"

'Trust me. With this prosecuting attorney, we do NOT want you taking the witness stand in your own defense!'

'The bailiffs took my car away yesterday, and I didn't even have a chance to siphon out the petrol.'