Law Laughter Lover Gifts

Courtroom. Next time I wouldn't say "Convincingly, I hope" when the judge asks how you plead.

"Case dismissed for obvious reasons."

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Snowprov

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

Acme-5000 Lie Detector

A baby in court

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

'Your Chef's Surprise, sir -- a sauteed whoopee cushion.'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

"Target in range. Ready... hug."

Judge chasing fly with gavel.

'Doors opening.' - 'Doors closing.' - 'Doors bored now.'

"The charge is loitering, your honor."

'What shall we watch - best security videos of 2013 or operating room bloopers, blunders and bleeps?'

'Scientists have confirmed that smiling is contagious.'

"I can assure you, Your Honor, that my client knocked over the liquor store with the best of intentions."

'Do you mean LAWYER?'

We Remove Lawyer Residue

"No, dummy...that's not how we use a napkin!"

Amy Schumer

Policeman

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

All together now! Let's sing our decision!

'MILK FIGHT!'

'I'd like to have my name legally changed to 'Dot Com.''

It is illegal to fall asleep under a hairdryer in Florida.

'Right now I'm on a 'man diet'. No more boyfriends until I lose twenty pounds.'

'He doesn't get the jokes - he just laughs at the F-words.'

"The bad news is my doctor limited me to one glass of wine per day. The good news is I get to pick the glass."