Law And Laugh Lover Gifts

HM Prison chapel, "try to think of the lord as a 24 hour video surveillance system gathering pictures for the ultimate crimewatch"

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

A baby in court

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

Judge chasing fly with gavel.

We Remove Lawyer Residue

'Do you mean LAWYER?'

"I can assure you, Your Honor, that my client knocked over the liquor store with the best of intentions."

All together now! Let's sing our decision!

Policeman

Courtroom. Next time I wouldn't say "Convincingly, I hope" when the judge asks how you plead.

Magistrate's clerk swearing witness

'I'd like to have my name legally changed to 'Dot Com.''

'Objection! That could be anybody's footprint!'

It is illegal to fall asleep under a hairdryer in Florida.

Man looking at the cartes de visite of the lawyers in chancery lane

"'Waaaaah, waaaaah!' is not an answer!"

'I wonder what that knocking noise is.'

"I can assure you, Your Honor, my client isn't a flight risk."

'Unzip your pants. . .while you're here, I want to pay up my bill in full.'

'Sorry, Mr. Weinbaum, but you should have said 'Simon says not guilty.''

'Well, if you DNA made you do it, I'm sentencing your DNA to thirty years in prison.'

"Your lawyer is a zombie?"

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

"We'd better tell Santa! We're being sued by Billy Gerent: He claims us putting on the Naughty List is discriminatory..."

"Why, yes, Your Honor. That would make me his Advocate."

"You have the right to remain inanimate, but anything you do mime may be used against you in a court of law"

You ought to be in the funny papers, counselor. That was yet another hilarious objection. Overruled, of course.

"Are you aware under the new terrorism laws I can hold you without charge for up to 90 days?"

"I'm your Fairy God lawyer and will grant you three Gloria Allreds."

'Trust me. With this prosecuting attorney, we do NOT want you taking the witness stand in your own defense!'

'The bailiffs took my car away yesterday, and I didn't even have a chance to siphon out the petrol.'