Laugh-out-loud Humor Fan Pillows

'How did Mary-Lou like her first motorcycle ride?'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

The Brothers Grime

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

Trump Poutine

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Raised by Dogs

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Dynamite little combo

'We found you in a cabbage!'

'Hon, I'm home!'

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

A Golden Non-Retriever

Beer Parasol.

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

Tequila Mockingbird

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'