Latin Language Humorist Pillows

Prize vegetables with rude names.

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"My wife thought the phrase 'stick it to the man' meant everyone, hence we're divorced. My new girlfriend and I met at a party. She's krazy, man. We bonded right away and now she's pregnant. It's a squeeze top. My brother's in rehab for sniffing. He never could get his nose out of my business."

'When we all get together, we sure are vulgar.'

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

'Robert.....Why do you think they call slanted letters italics.'

'Actually, I think my use of hyperbole is not only iconoclastic, it is potentially revolutionary.'

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

Cowboy in Old West boasts of having shot a guy for ending a sentence in a preposition.

'Warspeak department' making up new military terminology.

"Are you aware that in your submission you misspelled 'deer editer'?"

Ref shows footballer green card.

"No, I'm afraid Pluto is never in the dog house."

'Try hitting him harder.' 'Is that all you have to say?' 'Try hitting him harder, PLEASE.'

'Wow Fred! The scientists that caught you called you 'Carcharodon Carcharias'... Wait till I tell the others...'

"The nomenclature of 'political correctness' is devisive and opens the profession to ridicule!"

A day in the life of a serial mis-pronouncer.

'Turner don't use that expression 'Pie int he sky' its sounds ridiculous and don't point!'

'I could murder a pint!'

Bomb Pronouns

"So our ant-cestors come from Ant-artica?"