Lateness Enthusiast Gifts

'Sorry I'm late - I was asleep when my alarm went off.'

'Sorry I am late - have you been waiting long?'

"Please forgive us for being so late- we had parking issues."

'Bernie always sees the glass as half-full, but not for long.'

Romantic Coffee Dates

"Sometimes I wonder if it was worth all the trouble you went through to get yourself cloned."

"If Foucault's Pendulum is correct - 15 degrees per sidereal hour times the side of the latitude - then I'm an hour late for lunch."

'-and what makes YOU so sure my missus is waiting up for me?'

"Wait!"

"I'm very good with punctuation."

"How about fashionably never?"

Do it yourself - Get someone else to do it

'Sorry I'm late, Fred. I forgot to plug in the car.'

'Someone told him life begins at forty. Now he's reserving his energies!'

"We're running late. Just pick a facial expression already."

'OK, my dinner's in the oven. Where's the oven?'

'Your wife came by and left a message'

"Sixteen geo-coordinated gadgets and still you're late."

"I don't have to fetch his slippers anymore. His drone does it."

Train Arrivals

'Sorry I'm late - traffic was insane.'

'Sloth? We prefer Creature of Persistent Inactivity.'

"Sorry I'm late, but I was somewhere else."

Sapper, since you're in there so much we're moving your files in there too, and giving your desk to Chasen.

'This one only has two positions... 'attention' and 'at ease'.'

Congratulations on your Plutonium Anniversary

'Please excuse Josh's tardiness. The American academy of pediatrics has recommended a later start to the school day for teens.'

24 ? The Next Series. Jack says: 'Think I'll throw a sickie today.'

'No dear, I don't think you can be 'first footer'. I don't think you can even find your feet.'

Bored Coachman

"I wouldn't say he was a creature of habit - more of a creature with bad habits."

'Can Mr Rabbit call you back? I'm afraid he's running late again...'

Surreal Time Keeping

'I'm really not that ambitious... it's just that avoiding work is too much work.'

La-z-house