Lateness Enthusiast Pillows

'Sorry I'm late - I was asleep when my alarm went off.'

'Sorry I am late - have you been waiting long?'

"Please forgive us for being so late- we had parking issues."

'Bernie always sees the glass as half-full, but not for long.'

Romantic Coffee Dates

"Sometimes I wonder if it was worth all the trouble you went through to get yourself cloned."

"If Foucault's Pendulum is correct - 15 degrees per sidereal hour times the side of the latitude - then I'm an hour late for lunch."

'-and what makes YOU so sure my missus is waiting up for me?'

"Wait!"

"I'm very good with punctuation."

"How about fashionably never?"

Do it yourself - Get someone else to do it

'Sorry I'm late, Fred. I forgot to plug in the car.'

'Someone told him life begins at forty. Now he's reserving his energies!'

"We're running late. Just pick a facial expression already."

'OK, my dinner's in the oven. Where's the oven?'

'Your wife came by and left a message'

"Sixteen geo-coordinated gadgets and still you're late."

'Sorry I'm late - traffic was insane.'

Train Arrivals

"I don't have to fetch his slippers anymore. His drone does it."

'Sloth? We prefer Creature of Persistent Inactivity.'

"Sorry I'm late, but I was somewhere else."

Congratulations on your Plutonium Anniversary

'This one only has two positions... 'attention' and 'at ease'.'

Sapper, since you're in there so much we're moving your files in there too, and giving your desk to Chasen.

'Please excuse Josh's tardiness. The American academy of pediatrics has recommended a later start to the school day for teens.'

24 ? The Next Series. Jack says: 'Think I'll throw a sickie today.'

Bored Coachman

"I wouldn't say he was a creature of habit - more of a creature with bad habits."

'No dear, I don't think you can be 'first footer'. I don't think you can even find your feet.'

'Can Mr Rabbit call you back? I'm afraid he's running late again...'

'I'm really not that ambitious... it's just that avoiding work is too much work.'

La-z-house

'Edna, we're late! You don't have time for a second coat!'