Lateness Comedian Gifts

Train Arrivals

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

Man fishing in goldfish bowl - "Its always been the same with you Norman.. No ambition."

Daffodil bulbs

"While you were out, Mr. Sundberg, the little hand went from the one to the three."

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

"Roll over. Your Zs are looking like Ns."

"These are smart socks. They will crawl themselves to the clothes hamper when you throw them on the floor. Make sure they're charged before wearing them."

"Listen, the first pterodactyl of spring."

Surreal Ale Pub.

'Vacuums!'

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

Astronaut plants flag and deflates the moon.

'Sorry son, I bought you an ice-cream at the corner shop, but it melted on the way home...'

"Wait!"

'This decaf's lousy.'

Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 5

Just Survived My 3rd COVID Scare Dance.

"Our breakfast burrito is just like our lunch burrito, except it contains 876 mgs of caffeine."

Whale Pattern Balding

Overnight Programming

'Any idea where my night vision visor is?'

Keister Island

"I've forgotten your face but I remember your mask."

'Sorry I'm late - traffic was insane.'

"Dude, don't say it..."

'Quit blubbering. This is why I hate taking you shopping.'

"Damn kids and their graffiti."

"My work is to stare into space."

Light Switch

'It was the menu in this pub that drove me to drink...'

When I went in they were discussing Tina Turner.

"Winning isn't everything - it's the only thing!"