Late Riser Chuckler Gifts

'Here he comes in his jimjams - cutting it fine with out breakfast today!'

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

"He's never up before eleven."

'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

'Gravity wins - again.'

'If you must laugh, will you do it in the humour section please?'

Keyboard in Heaven

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

The breakfast of teens.

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

"Rex hates getting up in the mornings."

Amen Corner: 'I say 'Aeemeen'...'Aeeemeeen'...'Aeeeeeemeeen'.'

'And in a landslide, the winner of the 'Waking Up Your Owner' race...'

"Goddam Dogs."

'Hey Dad - you're shaving with my transistor radio!'

'...explain to me again why you are burying the shoe you threw..'

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

Yoga - moooooooo.

All Day Parking $1. Leave keys. It may be necessary to move your car to a more convenient spot.

"...nineteen, twenty. Ready or not, here I come!"

"I don't know which is harder-- getting Smythe started in the morning, or his computer."

"You call it 'Wordle?' Do you think it will catch on?"

"My wife took up walkin' a mile a day five years ago. Haven't seen her since!" "Lucky son of a..."

'Hey - I was in line first! There you go again...messing up the pecking order!'

'C'mon son - shake a leg.'

"But it's 3 o'clock in the morning. Okay, one word ... rhymes with liar."

"I'm not on the train today dear, I've got flu."

'Forget the golf. I just got a nibble!'

'Couldn't get insurance for my sled.'

'Weren't you our newspaper carrier years ago?'

'Never ever will I move by train again.'

"I didn't jump, I fell asleep waiting."

'We have weapons of mass disruption.'