Early Riser Chuckler Gifts

'And in a landslide, the winner of the 'Waking Up Your Owner' race...'

"But it's 3 o'clock in the morning. Okay, one word ... rhymes with liar."

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

"I know we got early to catch him...but he looks so cute I just can't eat him!"

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Have you got your make up on yet?

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

Evolution of a coffee drinker.

And if he wants to keep his job, the early bird better get me a coffee, too.

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

French Early Bird

'Now that we've moved to Hawaii, I can start trading at 3:30 a.m.--Isn't that great?'

'Honey, the neighbors have persuaded me to stop coming out into the hallway every morning to play 'reveille'!'

'That morning, nature got to work early...'

1,572 Performances.

Early Bird Gets the Worm/Night Owl Does the Worm

"Hold on... did you mean to hit Snooze or Jazz?"

Waking Up With Rooster.

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

"It's time to wake up!"

"Sorry Sir, but what exactly were you expecting to be served when you ordered the 'early bird special'."

'You see, you don't really need a cigarette to wake up in the morning.'

Sleepwalking to work.

'You know what they say Mum: The early bird catches the worm! So I'm sleeping in...'

Judges alarm clock: 'beep beep, all rise!'

Early Night Club

"Hurry, I've been waiting for you."

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep and with the sun if I've found death, please excuse my morning breath.

Rooster

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

Young girl asks young boy what time he wakes in the morning

'The farmer's kids asked me to wake them early tomorrow: It's Christmas day!'

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."