Early Bird Chuckler Gifts

Nature 101 - The Sparrow : Domestic Mr and Mrs Sparrow before donning gas masks for their sparrow fart awakening.

Bird Tweet.

So Far So Good

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

"I'm going to Bognor next year!"

'Here he comes in his jimjams - cutting it fine with out breakfast today!'

"Your boss wants you in early for WHAT?"

'What kind of bulbs did you put in here?'

"And if he wants to keep his job, the early bird better get me a coffee, too."

'Good morning!'

Rudolph unblocking a chimney

"I bit someone once. It tasted like chicken."

'What time is it? The small hand is on the 6 and the cat's paw is on my chin.'

"On this diet, you can eat all you want of anything you can grow."

"Yeah, mom. Ed's up before sunrise to fix the sink. So here I stand at the crack of dawn."

'Hey Dad - you're shaving with my transistor radio!'

'And in a landslide, the winner of the 'Waking Up Your Owner' race...'

"I'm afraid sir wasn't early enough for the worm."

'I know it's only six o'clock. That's what you get for sending me to bed so early!'

"That must be earlier worm."

If this works, our entertainment worries are long gone!

"I keep getting into a flap."

"He thinks you're playing fetch."

"Sorry for the confusion, but it's Poetry Night, not Poultry Night."

Restroom.

"The Foie Gras parfait sounds nice, and the ox cheek daube with star anise. But we've decided to go for the leftovers."

Merry Christmas

"But it's 3 o'clock in the morning. Okay, one word ... rhymes with liar."

'What do you mean, stuff the chicken? It wasn't empty.'

The early bird also gets a day filled with remorse and regret. Are you prepared for that?

Late Sleeper.

'Would a motorist be up for damages? Not unless he had his car with him.'

"Is it true, cows have four stomachs?"

Man, bike, chicken, crossing the road.