Birdwatcher Chuckler Gifts

"That must be earlier worm."

"The Foie Gras parfait sounds nice, and the ox cheek daube with star anise. But we've decided to go for the leftovers."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

I think it's time he left home.'

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

New York Scatological Society

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

"You want the lead role in the Thanksgiving play, don't you? Try again, 'Gobble, gobble, gobble' - this time with feeling!"

"Now, son, hitting a car is all about timing. You'll want to release about here..."

"My landing gear won't come down. I have a cramp."

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

A couple of birds out on the town.

'Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!'

'Sure I can do same day service.'

"I don't know what happened - he was such a good egg."

"He's a bird-dog."

"I don't feel like going out. Why don't just the two of us stay in and open a can of worms?"

"So you hired them to do the tidying up?"

"We only have three and twenty black birds for the pie."

"For goodness sake, Wilf, trim your eyebrows -- they think you're one of them!"

'Why can't I ever lead?'

Oh, those are just photos of my first 1,000 kids – I haven't shown you the second 1,000 yet.

'Dude, I think you should cut back on the Gummi worms.'

Artist Hazards

Two ducks in restaurant, one without a beak, "Can I get my bill, please?"

"Psst. . .he's not even looking up here....keep real still and he'll never notice us!"

"Well, this anti-aging cream clearly states it removes crow's feet."

Once Henry saw that his usual 'Mating Dance' moves weren't working, he decided to go 'Gangnam Style.'

'I just flew in from Los Angeles, and boy are my arms wings...!'