Birdwatching Chuckles Gifts

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

I think it's time he left home.'

New York Scatological Society

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

'You are pigeon toed.'

"Now, son, hitting a car is all about timing. You'll want to release about here..."

A couple of birds out on the town.

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'

"My landing gear won't come down. I have a cramp."

"You want the lead role in the Thanksgiving play, don't you? Try again, 'Gobble, gobble, gobble' - this time with feeling!"

"Can we not fly in a "V"? Victor broke up with me."

'Sure I can do same day service.'

"I don't know what happened - he was such a good egg."

'Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!'

"He's a bird-dog."

"I don't feel like going out. Why don't just the two of us stay in and open a can of worms?"

Artist Hazards

'Why can't I ever lead?'

'Dude, I think you should cut back on the Gummi worms.'

"So you hired them to do the tidying up?"

Once Henry saw that his usual 'Mating Dance' moves weren't working, he decided to go 'Gangnam Style.'

"Well, this anti-aging cream clearly states it removes crow's feet."

Two ducks in restaurant, one without a beak, "Can I get my bill, please?"

"For goodness sake, Wilf, trim your eyebrows -- they think you're one of them!"

"We only have three and twenty black birds for the pie."

'I just flew in from Los Angeles, and boy are my arms wings...!'

CEO and COO.

Self examination.

"It's a thongbird."