Early Bird Humorists Gifts

Church Board: 'Come early and you can sit in the back.'

Future garbage truck driver.

Toast: the high energy food

''What's in the bag, lady?''

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

I think it's time he left home.'

'Take me to your feeder,'

Cuckoo has got halfway through it's call and then had an arrow shot at it.

New York Scatological Society

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

"I'm the bluebird of PMS. Fetch me some decaf and turn on the air conditioner. I'm burning up in here!"

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"Hey, it's 5 a.m. somewhere, am I right?"

Hen Night

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

"My landing gear won't come down. I have a cramp."

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."

"Mine is a dairy farmer: He's up way before dawn every day..."

"Your boss wants you in early for WHAT?"

"You want the lead role in the Thanksgiving play, don't you? Try again, 'Gobble, gobble, gobble' - this time with feeling!"

"Don't rush me! I won't be much of a busy bee if I don't get my second cup of coffee."

'Sure I can do same day service.'

"You should have been here at eight o'clock."

"And if he wants to keep his job, the early bird better get me a coffee, too."

"I don't know what happened - he was such a good egg."

'Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!'

'Good morning!'

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

'We'd like you to continue with your 6 am appointments until we find out what's making you tired!'

'Why can't I ever lead?'

'The problem with being a kid is that the hours are lousy.'