Early Bird Giggler Gifts

'Good morning!'

The Busy Gardener

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Garden variety allergies."

Hardy Annuals

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Batman's Baby

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

Beginning Yarder.

Yard Sale

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"What are you in for?"

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'...and this is the water garden...'

'Where are you going?'

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

"I'd like me first word to be profound, but I'll probably panic and blurt out 'Mama' like every other baby."

Balding gnomes

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

I'm going for former flower children. Tree's Tree Nursery. Legal pot. Legal grass. Festuca. Carex. Miscanthus.

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

"I used to have A Green thumb but it was mainly for hedge funds."

Now THAT, my friend, is a beer garden!

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'