Late Riser Chuckler Pillows

'Here he comes in his jimjams - cutting it fine with out breakfast today!'

"He's never up before eleven."

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

'Gravity wins - again.'

'If you must laugh, will you do it in the humour section please?'

Keyboard in Heaven

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

The breakfast of teens.

Amen Corner: 'I say 'Aeemeen'...'Aeeemeeen'...'Aeeeeeemeeen'.'

"Rex hates getting up in the mornings."

"Goddam Dogs."

'Hey Dad - you're shaving with my transistor radio!'

'And in a landslide, the winner of the 'Waking Up Your Owner' race...'

"What's all this I've been hearing about the Cloud?"

'...explain to me again why you are burying the shoe you threw..'

All Day Parking $1. Leave keys. It may be necessary to move your car to a more convenient spot.

"...nineteen, twenty. Ready or not, here I come!"

"I don't know which is harder-- getting Smythe started in the morning, or his computer."

"My wife took up walkin' a mile a day five years ago. Haven't seen her since!" "Lucky son of a..."

"I'm not on the train today dear, I've got flu."

"But it's 3 o'clock in the morning. Okay, one word ... rhymes with liar."

'Hey - I was in line first! There you go again...messing up the pecking order!'

'C'mon son - shake a leg.'

'Forget the golf. I just got a nibble!'

'Mr Darling has gone into shock, he missed his train - it arrived and left on time!'

'Couldn't get insurance for my sled.'

'Never ever will I move by train again.'

"I didn't jump, I fell asleep waiting."

'Weren't you our newspaper carrier years ago?'

'We have weapons of mass disruption.'