Nostalgic Chucklers Pillows

'Weren't you our newspaper carrier years ago?'

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

'Here he comes in his jimjams - cutting it fine with out breakfast today!'

Various Birds of Pray.

"...heat escapes through your head. Lose the hat and you might make it through April"

"Well...this constant badness is just sooo wearisome...."

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

'You've all been whining a lot lately, so this week's sermon is from the 'Book of Lamentations'....'

Amen Corner: 'I say 'Aeemeen'...'Aeeemeeen'...'Aeeeeeemeeen'.'

"Mom, are we vegetarians for ethical or religious reasons?"

"They never would have got away with that in the Old Testament."

"Mom, small bandwidth is like you trying to squeeze in a dress that fit you ten years ago."

-What did the carrot say to the onion? -What? -Nothing, vegetables don't talk!

"There's only one of them roaming around now. The others are in self-isolation."

'I'd like to leave a wake-up call.'

Kid to kid: 'I had my sentence reduced to a couple of hours in my room.'

'Now this baby is a true classic, it has great fuel economy and was originally owned by a celebrity!'

Father Parrot: 'One day Son, this will all be yours.'

"Will you help me round up my 38 sheep?" Yes, 40.

'I love a bit of classic 70's comedy.'

'Pool closed 3pm to 6pm. That's when we wash our sheets.'

"That's a GOOD BOY! Now let's go home."

'Sometimes I miss the dress code requiring skirts for female employees.'

"Sometimes I just want a nice salad."