Late Riser Pillows

"I don't know which is harder-- getting Smythe started in the morning, or his computer."

'Gravity wins - again.'

They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but I say it's lunch. If it were the other way around, I'd be dead by now, since I've been sleeping through breakfast for years.

They say second marriages are the triumph of hope over experience, but so is the snooze alarm!

"We're naming this new virus after you, Bernie, because it never makes a move until after eleven o'clock in the morning."

'C'mon son - shake a leg.'

Early bird gets the worm...late bird sends out for pizza.

The breakfast of teens.

Panic of waking up.

"He's never up before eleven."

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

"I know we got early to catch him...but he looks so cute I just can't eat him!"

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

Have you got your make up on yet?

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

Evolution of a coffee drinker.

French Early Bird

And if he wants to keep his job, the early bird better get me a coffee, too.

"Hold on... did you mean to hit Snooze or Jazz?"

Early Bird Gets the Worm/Night Owl Does the Worm

1,572 Performances.

'That morning, nature got to work early...'

'Honey, the neighbors have persuaded me to stop coming out into the hallway every morning to play 'reveille'!'

'Now that we've moved to Hawaii, I can start trading at 3:30 a.m.--Isn't that great?'

'Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!'

Waking Up With Rooster.

'You see, you don't really need a cigarette to wake up in the morning.'

"Sorry Sir, but what exactly were you expecting to be served when you ordered the 'early bird special'."

'I hate the moods yuo wake up in!'

"It's time to wake up!"

Sleepwalking to work.

'You know what they say Mum: The early bird catches the worm! So I'm sleeping in...'