Laptop Jester Gifts

'Okay! Who changed my screensaver?'

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

Employee won't think about work outside of box

"We're following Carrot Top."

'What's that? It's a leaving present for the next person who comes in late.'

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

'So what do you think of my report, sir?'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

"You work too hard. You have stress balls!"

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

Team Experiences Cabinet: Productivity, Fun, Goal Setting!

"Phyllis, this isn�t my laptop..."

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

"Now this chart should clear up any confusion you have with the report."

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

'I bet you think I'm drinking tea...'

Hardware and software

"Well, if you hadn't misfiled it in the first place it wouldn't have been lost."

"Let me now direct your attention to the pepperoni."

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

"I was just finishing up some spring cleaning."

"It's not bulls**t if we call it strategy."

"I wanted a Meticulous Monday or a Thorough Thursday report. This reads more like a Frivolous Friday."

'Clear out your desk, Randy. ...NEXT!'

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

'You've become like a son to me, Alvin. But the company has strict rules against nepotism, so I have to let you go.'