Language Purist Gifts

"There are some words I will not tolerate in this house-and 'awesome' is one of them."

"I still can't bring my self to type a smily face."

Infection Control Center. Now Hiring. I should have said "I'm not afraid of hard work" rather than "I don't mind getting my hands dirty."

'She wants to know why we don't clean up the *@#!@* language in our movies.'

"Somebody? Anyone? Surely one of you can form a sentence without the word 'like' in it!"

"Brandon is the worst texter in the world! Every word is spelled correctly."

"Your online comment meets the offence of serious insult. The 13 spelling mistakes in the 17 words of your comment constitutes a crime against the English language!"

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

The Family Joules: Part 21

'Stick them up...'

Henry the amazing talking dog.

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

'This is the fun part...waiting to find out just what we've ordered.

'Mom and dad...if someone threw a rock at me, it would really be like killing two birds with one stone.' 'I told you if we had a child, he'd be a wise-quacker.'

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

Say it with flowers - available in any language.

Raphnrrf? Raphnrrf? Umpha? Frfee? Maamr? Pick.

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

His Hers Pers Vis Xyrs Hirs TBD

Two vending machines for fisherman: 'Live Bait' next to 'Dead as a Doornail Bait'

Turkey to human dictionary - 'Quiet!!! You don't realize what you're saying!'

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

'Give it to me straight, Doc... is it pronounceable?'

'That's not what I meant by 'IV'.'

"To hear the ocean in English, press one. Para Espanol ..."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

"Go on, say it again, 'I love you' in Armadillo."