Language Purist Gifts

"There are some words I will not tolerate in this house-and 'awesome' is one of them."

"I still can't bring my self to type a smily face."

'She wants to know why we don't clean up the *@#!@* language in our movies.'

"Somebody? Anyone? Surely one of you can form a sentence without the word 'like' in it!"

"Brandon is the worst texter in the world! Every word is spelled correctly."

"Your online comment meets the offence of serious insult. The 13 spelling mistakes in the 17 words of your comment constitutes a crime against the English language!"

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'Whoooa,MAN,check out this STORM! It's PELTING down!'

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

'Stick them up...'

Henry the amazing talking dog.

'This is the fun part...waiting to find out just what we've ordered.

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

Two vending machines for fisherman: 'Live Bait' next to 'Dead as a Doornail Bait'

His Hers Pers Vis Xyrs Hirs TBD

Say it with flowers - available in any language.

'That's not what I meant by 'IV'.'

'Give it to me straight, Doc... is it pronounceable?'

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

"Go on, say it again, 'I love you' in Armadillo."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

'Now what? Everything I can pronounce is OFF!'

The Oxford Comma Coin

"These meetings were a lot shorter before we invented compound sentences."

'Did anyone tell her we're from another planet?'

English Lesson No. 1

'What was the first music they ever said 'this isn't even music' about?'