Language Improvement Pillows

'Say 'AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRAAAAA', Mr Tazan.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

Campaign for Plain English

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

Torturing the English Language

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Thru versus Through Traffic

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

Assault 'n' Vinegar

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Punctuation Police

Backfire

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

What's normal?

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

"There's only one 'L' in colosseum."

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

'The Questioner'