Speech Improvement Pillows

'Saul Werman, Attorney at Law... I got a call from someone in need of 'wegal wepwesentation?''

Ventriloquist Speech Therapy.

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

Inclusive speech

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

What's normal?

Dialogue

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"A haand gel...!?"

First Word

'I have a limited vocabulary because I'm a child, what's your excuse?'

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

Dyslexia is no longer a disorder...

Dyslexic Cattle Ranch

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

"A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something."

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

"Stop squawking. Use your words."

"Liife! Give my conversation Liife!"

Irritable Vowel Syndrome: "EEEIIIOOOAAA AUUUEEE!!"