Practicing Speeches Pillows

"What do you do?""I'm a layer. The law. I do law. I practice law. I'm an attorney. Something legal."

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

We need a Europe of U-turns.

"The 'Sing Only in the Shower' Community Chorus"

"It's time to get politics out of money."

'Come on, Walter, you're wasting out time! Stop using complete sentences!'

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

William Pitt the Elder

Time for speeches

How to Do Small Talk??!!

"Here's a draft of my speech, Accounts Receivable as Collateral When Obtaining Asset Based Lending. Make it pop."

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

"I seem to have forgotten what I was going to say...please...hold the applause!"

Victory speech.

Eddy's mom suggested that he do his speech on cue cards.

"Thanks for your introductory speech at the conference. By the way, Hibblemeyer, it's 'hard-headed' businessman, not 'thick-headed'."

"Ambitions. . . To . . . Er. . . Um . . . Become. . . Er. . . Um. . . A. . . Er. . . Um . . . Motivational. . . Er. . . Um. . . Speaker."

The Pope looks through here to check out the crowd before he speaks. Ah --- The papal people peephole!

Sleeping musician

For the record, my young speech writers don't consider borrowing phrases as plagiarism. They consider it sampling.

Citizen Cane...

The speech is ethical. One source is plagiarism, two is research.

"Let's make it a few minutes longer and add more inside jokes."

"Is this speech pie-in-the-sky nonsense or aspirational?"

"Take this box of rumors, innuendo and hearsay and turn it into decisive leadership."

Violent Rhetoric

A Born Politician

"That concludes my presentation. I'll now open this up for some answers."

'I wrote my own speech once. It didn't sound like me at all!'

"You should know better than to give a speech in the morning before you've had your coffee."

"What about the writers? Nobody ever blames the writers!"