Speech Development Pillows

'He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites.'

Yes, I know he can't say his R's, and no, I don

First Word

'He said his first buzz word today!'

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Changing Minds

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

"He just said his first word!"

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

He doesn't howl at the moon. He prefers to howl into the void.

"Wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . . wa-wa. . ."

"His first word was 'Dotcom'."

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Babble. Pbl. Babama. Bbb. Brb. Bod.

It's nothing to worry about - many kids his age have trouble with the letter S.

Can you mumble, mumble mumble? You're mumbling. What are you saying? I'm asking for your mumble, mumble. You're asking for my help? I can't get the word out. Can I get a little mumble? Mumble.

Time for speeches

"I've recorded every noise my baby makes, so that when he's older I can play it back and he can tell me what he was trying to say. . .!"

William Pitt the Elder

"I'd like me first word to be profound, but I'll probably panic and blurt out 'Mama' like every other baby."

"Now the board will hear from Todd from Accounting with his free verse composition 'My Mistress, Brash and Beguiling – the Third Quarter Numbers.'"

"He sounds authentic. That gets my vote."

'She said her first 'I hate you' today.'

Baby Crossword Puzzle.

'Well, he certainly has his Father's vocabulary.'

'Just my luck, a talking dog with a stutter.'

The Prostate Monologues

"Don't repeat this."

''Big Society'...paradigm shift blah! Blah! Community spirit, neighbourhood cohesion, blah! Blah! Social inputs, perceptual platforms blah! Blah!'

Interpreter for the hard-to-believe-what-they're-hearing.