Speech Pillows

"Don't repeat this."

'Tell me a little bit about yourself.'

'My best attribute? That would be my glottal stop.'

Screen reads: 'The Stammerer's Society. Visit our website: www ... w ... ww ... ww ... ww'

Interpreter for the hard-to-believe-what-they're-hearing.

Tongue Tied.

'No Rusty; not 'bark, bark'. It's; 'buerk, buerk'.'

Man picking up an H for a lady who drops her Hs

'She said her first 'I hate you' today.'

Rude signing for the deaf. Dictator telling his people to f*** off.

"Free speech? You mean I don't get paid whatever I say?"

Common Dips.

Never being able to think of the right thing to say at the right time phobia.

'You mean to ssssay we have sssspeach imedimentssss?'

'I'm going to call in a specialist in pronunciation.'

Popular Speeches in Cuban

'I don't mumble! I babble!'

"I wa wa wa wa wonder why she ran away."

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

"Instead of careful interpretation of the prose, maybe try pronouncing even the most basic words like an insane person?"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

They hated me.

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Ban on Free Speech

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

Political convention

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."