Speechwriting Pillows

'Well written speech, guys...earnest, yet glib.'

'Let me introduce my biggest supporter, a real whale of a guy, a huge fan..'

'Confusing, dangerous times call for confusing, dangerous leadership!'

Political Speech Making Tutorial

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

Ban on Free Speech

Lennon and McCartney.

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

Anna Calvi

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

"Woke up this morning, someone had nicked my guitar..."

Political convention

"This next one's another oldie."

George Michael

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"That is an outrageous slur."

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

We need a Europe of U-turns.

Michael Jackson

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

"She loves you... yeah... yeah... yeah..."

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Guitar Man.

New music conference