Speechwriting Strategist Pillows

'Well written speech, guys...earnest, yet glib.'

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Ban on Free Speech

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

Political convention

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

We need a Europe of U-turns.

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Information...political rhetoric

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

'Everyone distrusts spin. . . so let's go back to old-fashioned lying.'

"It's time to get politics out of money."

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

Speech

'Confusing, dangerous times call for confusing, dangerous leadership!'

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

A. Lincoln, President. The "of the people, by the people, for the people" part is great, Abe, but the "people who need people" section may be overkill.

'It's the consistently defininative obscure obviation coupled with absolute commitment to incomprehensible policy objectives that I find appealing.

Time for speeches

"The White House Washington"

'Vote for me. I'm ready, and willing. Two out of three isn't bad.'

Masters of Political Oratory

"Here's a draft of my speech, Accounts Receivable as Collateral When Obtaining Asset Based Lending. Make it pop."

'...and on that you have my word.'

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

"...and to save you time, anything I say that comes back to haunt me, was something taken out of context."

'And now over to Mike for the video presentation...Mike?...Mike?'

'The treasury decided to use bob geldof's speechwriter this year!'