Speechwriting Strategist T-Shirts

'Well written speech, guys...earnest, yet glib.'

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Ban on Free Speech

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

Political convention

We need a Europe of U-turns.

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Information...political rhetoric

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

'Everyone distrusts spin. . . so let's go back to old-fashioned lying.'

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"It's time to get politics out of money."

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

'Confusing, dangerous times call for confusing, dangerous leadership!'

Speech

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

'It's the consistently defininative obscure obviation coupled with absolute commitment to incomprehensible policy objectives that I find appealing.

"The White House Washington"

'Vote for me. I'm ready, and willing. Two out of three isn't bad.'

Time for speeches

"Here's a draft of my speech, Accounts Receivable as Collateral When Obtaining Asset Based Lending. Make it pop."

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

"...and to save you time, anything I say that comes back to haunt me, was something taken out of context."

'The treasury decided to use bob geldof's speechwriter this year!'

"He sounds authentic. That gets my vote."