Speechwriter T-Shirts

A Born Politician

Ministry of Soundbites: "Actually minister, it doesn't really matter what you say as long as you include a combination of the words 'choice','empowerment' and 'customer focussed'."

'Okay, you can have freedom of speech, but watch your language!'

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

'Hopkins, I want you to write me an inspiring, dynamic speech that bears my unmistakable stamp of genius.'

"My fellow victims. . . "

'The following speaker was scheduled to give his talk last week, but needed more time to prepare his impromptu speech.'

"'Ask not what the budget can do for you, ask what you can do for the budget.' They just might go for it."

Information...political rhetoric

'Which speech should I give them,,, Bullshit 1,,, Bullshit 2,,, or Bullshit 3'

"You can tell he's a great politician....he's spoken for 45 minutes now, and hasn't said a thing!"

'Great speech! But let's cut your carefully reasoned conclusion and insert an uplifting sports metaphor.'

"I don't like soundbites - and you can quote me on that."

"I can talk for hours without saying anything substantial in a completely incomprehensible way. That's why I'm called an expert."

'The treasury decided to use bob geldof's speechwriter this year!'

"...and to save you time, anything I say that comes back to haunt me, was something taken out of context."

"Remember, your last speech, you got 15,000 tweets per minute to shut up...."

Language of politics.

"The President wants a calm, measured, evenhanded speech that kicks some serious butt."

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

"Before I begin, I should warn you that in my quest for truth and my relentless war against corruption I will now and then split an infinitive and end an occasional sentence with a preposition."

Political Debate, 'I'd like a word with the debate chairman.'

"O.K., but change 'Her tawny body glistened beneath the azure sky' to 'National problems demand national solutions.' "

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"John McCain stuck to his convictions...did what was right even when it was contrary to his party - just like..."

"We leave 'will not be swayed by polls' in the speech. The focus group loved it."

'08 Presidential Candidates Speech.

'Sorry about the war and the economy and everything, folks ? I was misled by my speechwriters.'

'That was a nice foreign policy speech, except that it's pronounced 'Österreich,' not 'ostrich.''

'"Great speech! Full of vitriol, but gleeful vitriol."

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

"He sounds authentic. That gets my vote."

Not in this lifetime: 'the truth is...'

'This is where the seasoned candidate strategically pauses for effect.'