Speechwriting Aficionado Pillows

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Inclusive speech

What's normal?

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

Political convention

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

Changing Minds

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

We need a Europe of U-turns.

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

Information...political rhetoric

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

'Everyone distrusts spin. . . so let's go back to old-fashioned lying.'

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with something missing.

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

'Confusing, dangerous times call for confusing, dangerous leadership!'

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

Business coach hiding in speach desk.