Speechwriter Admirer Pillows

The final stage of Terminal Political Correctness.

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"Feel free to take notes."

Inclusive speech

What's normal?

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

Political convention

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

Stephen Spender.

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

Sign in a bookshop window offers chance to meet the narrator of the audio book.

Information...political rhetoric

Tonight: Town Hall Meeting. With free speech, sometimes I think that you get what you pay for!

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

Kultural K9's.

'Everyone distrusts spin. . . so let's go back to old-fashioned lying.'

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

"Tell us again about the humpback of Notre dame."