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The final stage of Terminal Political Correctness.

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"Feel free to take notes."

Inclusive speech

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

What's normal?

Political convention

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

Information...political rhetoric

Sign in a bookshop window offers chance to meet the narrator of the audio book.

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

Kultural K9's.

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

'Everyone distrusts spin. . . so let's go back to old-fashioned lying.'

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

"Tell us again about the humpback of Notre dame."