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'Ask not what Obama can do for you....', 'Here we go again.'

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Inclusive speech

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

What's normal?

Political convention

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

'Look dear, he's writing political speeches.'

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

We need a Europe of U-turns.

Changing Minds

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

MLK

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

Information...political rhetoric

'I said 'barium,' not 'bury him'!'

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

'Everyone distrusts spin. . . so let's go back to old-fashioned lying.'

"But I won't bore you with the all too familiar story of a dictator's rise to absolute power,"

'I think I've scored.'

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

'Psst, Noah - there's a rumour going round that the dodos are gay.'