Speaking Pillows

"'The Girl Who Kicked Summer Vacation's Ass.'"

'They say the secret to public speaking is to pick out one person in the audience and talk to him.' 'Well, did you?' 'Yeah. Unfortunately the person I picked out was snickering, pointing and whispering to the guy next to him.'

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

I left that article about superior communication skills on that thingy over there by the whatchamacallit.

Motivational Speakers of the Serengeti

'He's a great field dog and is much in demand as a motivational speaker.'

Fear of Public Speaking

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

'That girl speaks eighteen languages and she can't say 'no' in any of them!'

'Those are words, Charles, just words!'

"WE had a surprise guest, but the biggest surprise was he didn't show up."

A Puppet Named Juan

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

They hated me.

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

Campaign for Plain English

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'