Language Acquisition Pillows

'Young lady, stop talking to your dad in such a disrespectful way! After all he's a man with degrees and can fill in his unemployment benefit application in five different languages!'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

Campaign for Plain English

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

Torturing the English Language

Thru versus Through Traffic

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

Punctuation Police

Backfire

Assault 'n' Vinegar

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

What's normal?

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

'The Questioner'

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

"There's only one 'L' in colosseum."

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

Lesser known greek gods,