Language Games Player Pillows

Strawberry Shake

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

Introducing...Anagraman.

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

Some card-game puns

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

"I stand corrected."

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

'Mom and dad...if someone threw a rock at me, it would really be like killing two birds with one stone.' 'I told you if we had a child, he'd be a wise-quacker.'

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

F&E Stables. Horses Boarded. The owner of this horse is a huge fan of the late musician, "Prince." That explains the purple reins.

"I said to get a Tomcat, not a wombat!"

"I was downgraded to junk status at work today."

'Don't worry. I'm not charging you for the extra lettering.'

Danth battle?

'Two famous French wines.' 'Red and white.'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

"That's not what I meant by changing gear, Mrs.Robinson!"

'Should-do and shouldn't-do sound a lot alike.'

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

Shoe repair

Reading: Phonics. Using phonics, you learn to read by the sounds of letters. Any questions? Yes. Why does "phonics" begin with "p-h" and not with "f"?

Heart To Heart

"Wall to wall carpet. Shouldn't that be wall to wall to wall to wall carpet?"

Self Raising Flour

'So I said 'You must be frackin' joking!''

Pets. Puppy Yums. Fish. I need parrot sales figures and a kitten inventory estimate. I'll do a polly graph and a cat scan!

"He ate all the Scrabble tiles. Now he keeps leaving little messages around the house."

"I've been window-shopping..."

'I ask you, Larry the Landscaper, did you ever, under any circumstances, promise anyone a rose garden?'

'I am a bit concerned about what you meant when you said: LET'S DO LUNCH...'