Language Player Pillows

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

'Should-do and shouldn't-do sound a lot alike.'

ANTZ IN YOUR KRANTZ

We've been social distancing. As small groups start to meet, we're going to let other letters fill the space between us. It's risky. We could find ourseles "failure" or "fake." Or "fire" "France" would be fun. Maybe it's not the right time for that yet. I'd also like "fame" or "fortune." Those are good, but I think it would be hard to do better than "fudge"!

Alphabet soup gets cold for slow readers.

A Puppet Named Juan

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

I will study my speling words...

Thru versus Through Traffic

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

Punctuation Police

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Someone who knows apostrophes

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Wok. Don't Wok.

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

'The Questioner'

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."