Language Play Lover Pillows

'If you'd like a second opinion, my colleague, Dr. Hand, is a specialist in layman's terms.'

"Joel, do you have a minute?"

'I think it's a virus...it's running a temperature.'

Sven behaving badly - "That's a nasty skvint. I'm gonna haf to sterilise you."

Two Star Restaurants

"I've just overheard that Young Master is the teacher's pet. What doe it mean?"

A Puppet Named Juan

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Campaign for Plain English

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Thru versus Through Traffic

I will study my speling words...

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Punctuation Police

Someone who knows apostrophes

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"