Language Game Guru Pillows

"Mom, Dad, sis-I'm not like you. I'm-I'm not a palindrome."

A Puppet Named Juan

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Thru versus Through Traffic

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Punctuation Police

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

'The Questioner'

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

Homo Gamus

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

"I try to write a little bit every day."

Introducing...Anagraman.

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

I'm not saying I'm not a hound dog. I'm saying I'm not nothing but a hound dog.

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

Some card-game puns

Dating an English Major

You've read the book's dust jacket. Now, play the video game!

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

'Stick them up...'