Language Acrobat Gifts

"It's a stream of consciousness novel like 'Ulysses' I just sort of sat down and wrote it without even thinking of a plot have you had drink I', going to get a seat where do you come from it's hot in here I like blue do you like blue..."

Shampoo.

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"I stand corrected."

"I said to get a Tomcat, not a wombat!"

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

How a poet works

'Two famous French wines.' 'Red and white.'

'Will you marry me, Gloria?'

'For the next hour, hold all calls. I'll be practicing tumbling. I have to learn to roll with the punches.'

"It's a pretty good resume, but I would have like to see more bells and whistles."

Translating . . . poetry.

"I've been window-shopping..."

"It's the first week of school and already I have a 10-page report due tomorrow!"

'I ask you, Larry the Landscaper, did you ever, under any circumstances, promise anyone a rose garden?'

"You think you're pretty holy, huh!"

'Doctor, my speech bubble has slipped!'

Multitasking

"This isn't bad. Ten per cent all A's."

'Needs more challenge.'

'But Mum, I've got to practise if I want to join a circus when I grow up!'

'Clever, Fenwick

'Excuse me, Mr. Jennings, but there's a gentleman here who wants to know if you'd mind him leaving some paperwork with you to go over.'

Writer

'All my life, I've been hearing about this 'pound of cure.' How much does it cost by the pound?'

Auditioning for Finnegans Wake.

'This is truly one of the great poems in the language. Computerese, that is.'

A tightrope walker balances while holding hearts.

"Today, class, I'm proud to announce my tenure."

'OK, good. I just wanted to be sure you were still on top of it.'

"A good employee never stops learning new skills."

"Isn't Gracie getting a little old for bedtime stories?"

"I think your Arabic is coming along fine for your trip to Casablanca, with or without the Humphrey Bogart impression."

'It's always good to see accounting on the ball.'

"Waiter, was my salmon wild?"