Landscape Skeptic Gifts

No caption. (Painter looks at mountain scenery but paints a cityscape.)

The Busy Gardener

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

Doing the borders.

Painting clouds

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

Hither and Yon sign

The Adventures of God

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

Motor Tourism

"He loves his leaf blower."

Nature Lovers

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

Grandpa gets more than he bargained for when his lawnmower takes flight as a helicopter would.

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

Rating the Sunset

"Oh no, it's Flash Garden!"

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

"Sure, it's 'beautiful,' Ray, but where are the outlet stores?!"

Watering the garden gnome

"Set already!"

"I guess there ain't room in this town for two bonsai specialists."

J. M. W. Turner

Gwendolyn found herself deep in the Lake district,

"Someday, all this will be infrastructure."

'I seem to be on the range but 'home' is proving illusive.'

"I bought a fake rock to cover up this ugly rock."

'...We go away for a long weekend - we get back and the garden's gone wild.'

'It's just a calendar, who cares what it looks like?'

"Now that's what I call a high definition display.".

'On behalf of the park I'm going to have to charge you an artist's modeling fee.'

'This scene may be photographed - police notice.'