Scenery Skeptic Gifts

"It's a bit overrated really isn't it?"

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

'Echo Tourism'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

Roads with a view.

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

"I don't like space."

'You have to admit Darling that there's an awesome view from our eyrie...'

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

She. 'Isn't it a pretty view?' Susceptible Youth. 'Awfully pretty, by Jove!'

"Sure, it's 'beautiful,' Ray, but where are the outlet stores?!"

Rating the Sunset

'So what if we don't have running water?!'

Hotel Room

"It's as beautiful as the poster, except, of course, no more cows."

'I'd prefer it if the view was closer.'

"To cross street, push button, wait for walk signal, wait, wait some more."

Rational explanations

'It's probably just a weather balloon.'

'We'd like to return it. There wasn't any on-screen chemistry between us.'

"I am not a witch. . . I'm not! . . . And if you set that wood on fire, I'll turn you into a toad!"

"I'm dating an exorcist..!"

"I've got about 3 more inches before I'm willing to get reading glasses."

First Cynic in Space

conclusive proof that the Moon landings WERE faked...

"What, may I ask, does landscape have to do with gender?"

"We were already in this room—I remember that hideous Renoir."

'Dang it Sharif, I told you we shouldn't built the jacuzzi on an ancient bee burial ground.'

"For the last time-empty your pockets before you put your robe in the wash."

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

'And whenever we do go somewhere, he blocks the view.'

Down the Rhine by the paddle steamer.