Scenery Skeptic Gifts

"It's a bit overrated really isn't it?"

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

Polar bear bowling alley

'Echo Tourism'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

"I don't like space."

'You have to admit Darling that there's an awesome view from our eyrie...'

Roads with a view.

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

She. 'Isn't it a pretty view?' Susceptible Youth. 'Awfully pretty, by Jove!'

Rating the Sunset

"Sure, it's 'beautiful,' Ray, but where are the outlet stores?!"

'I'd prefer it if the view was closer.'

"It's as beautiful as the poster, except, of course, no more cows."

'So what if we don't have running water?!'

Hotel Room

"Ever seen anything like it? No high rise condos to obstruct the view, no acres of parking lots, no traffic. What a waste."

'He can't speak to the dead, but he can speak to the dead.'

"To cross street, push button, wait for walk signal, wait, wait some more."

Rational explanations

'It's probably just a weather balloon.'

"Awesome, yes - but what's the point? I mean, aside from the travel reward points."

"I am not a witch. . . I'm not! . . . And if you set that wood on fire, I'll turn you into a toad!"

"I'm dating an exorcist..!"

'We'd like to return it. There wasn't any on-screen chemistry between us.'

"I've got about 3 more inches before I'm willing to get reading glasses."

First Cynic in Space

conclusive proof that the Moon landings WERE faked...

"What, may I ask, does landscape have to do with gender?"

Down the Rhine by the paddle steamer.

'Dang it Sharif, I told you we shouldn't built the jacuzzi on an ancient bee burial ground.'

No caption. (Painter looks at mountain scenery but paints a cityscape.)

"For the last time-empty your pockets before you put your robe in the wash."

'And whenever we do go somewhere, he blocks the view.'