Spooky Skeptic Gifts

Rational explanations

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

"If there were really a God, trees would come with outlets and wifi hubs."

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

Experts through the ages.

"Dont believe anything those guys have told you. None of it. It's all B.S."

''Faith can move mountains'? -- That's actually a little disturbing.'

'The cow jumped over the moon? The mouse ran up the clock? Steroids, right?'

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

"I'm the black sheep of the family because I'm afraid of the dark."

'I hope there's something better on the 'other side'!..'

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"Anyway, it turned out that god was a ruddy algorithm after all!"

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

"If I don't think it's going to work, will it still work?"

'It may look that way... But actually, I'm an atheist

"Do I look like a wise man to you?"

"and what are you giving up for lent, Reverend?" "Religion"

'How do we know YOU'RE not bearing false witness?'

'Do I ever wonder about a higher power? No, I wonder what's on TV.'

"Huh! Never a miracle vaccine when you want one - then three come along at the same time - bloody typical!"

House of Wishful Thinking

'This one contains the commandments that will make people ENJOY life! Ha ha, just kidding.'

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

"I think they're beginning to suspect our science is fraudulent."

Actual Results May Vary

'Is there a doctor in the house we can trust?'

'Our financial statement was delivered 'postage due'. Think that's a sign?'

"I did the math, and I'm telling you I have two left!"

Alternative Accountants