Paranormal Skeptic Gifts

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"Why bother?"

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

New Road Signs to Watch For:

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

"Would the widdle Venus fly trap like a fly? You'll have to beg for it."

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

Channelling on the Cheap

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

Using psychic powers, the final exam had been a breeze. However, Madame Evetta did not realize that the student in front of her from who she had obtained the majority of her answers, was Bugs Higgins.

"Get a tomb!"

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

'Oh my!...Corn circles, Roswell, aliens, pyramids - there's a connection!...'

'Funny, I thought a near-death experience would be different, somehow.'

'You can fill your teddy bear with stuffing or with a demonic spirit summoned from the nether regions.'

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

"Which one is yours?"

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'