Paranormal Skeptic Gifts

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"Why bother?"

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

"Would the widdle Venus fly trap like a fly? You'll have to beg for it."

New Road Signs to Watch For:

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

Astral Projection

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"

Channelling on the Cheap

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

He snuck in on me again, didn't he.

"Get a tomb!"

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

"Really? That's the only game in this house?"

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

Using psychic powers, the final exam had been a breeze. However, Madame Evetta did not realize that the student in front of her from who she had obtained the majority of her answers, was Bugs Higgins.

Ghost puddle

'Oh my!...Corn circles, Roswell, aliens, pyramids - there's a connection!...'

'You can fill your teddy bear with stuffing or with a demonic spirit summoned from the nether regions.'

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

'Funny, I thought a near-death experience would be different, somehow.'

"Which one is yours?"

Ghostship