Horror Skeptic Gifts

'When you've seen one criminally violent, sex-filed horror play, you've seen the lot, I always say.'

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

Dead Funny

Chiller Theatre

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

Solar Frankenstein

I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.

"God works in mysterious ways."

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

"Harry?... Is that you?"

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

'...And the best he can do is a bunch of gophers?'

"How was prom?"

Child buys 'Dracula doll': Keep in box until sunset.

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

Stephen King

'This book thing, Mum, where do I plug it in?'

"No thanks. I'm not interested in any handouts."

Back to school: The Horror,

"May I ask what it's in connection with?"

"I've sewn on 2 right hands, and have made you ambidextrous!"

Young Stephen King

Happy New Ear!

'You see me coming here every week and paying you fifty dollars...'

'I hear they wrote their own vows.'

The Horror Film Director.

The Bride of Frankenstein

'I'm left brained and I needed some right brains.'

Frankenstein's Monster receiving birthday present.